It's really happening!

On Monday I leave my home and travel to a new home for the winter. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I have no idea what to expect. It doesn’t feel real yet… even though Monday is tomorrow already. I still have to finish packing… I sent two suitcases down this past week so now it’s just the last minute stuff. I feel like I’m forgetting everything, but at the same time that I have way too much. I feel completely un-organized. And I feel very detached… as though I was watching myself, watching it all happen but not being affected by it. But I am. Perhaps I’m trying to feel detached so I don’t feel anything.

Yesterday was my last day of work at the chipstand. It was strange. I closed and went home. We had a campfire and Shirley mentioned how it was my second last night here. It registered, but it didn’t really, you know? Then this morning I woke up at eight and mentally counted the hours till I had to go to work but then remembered that I was done work, and today was Sunday. A few minutes later mom came to my room to tell me breakfast would be ready soon.

I’m in a melancholy state of mind… there are so many ‘last times’ happening. I will be happy though. Am I not the girl who always has a smile on her face? I need some sad music right now. And a hot cup of tea.