Oct 1, 2015

Unexpected Twists

When I was young{er} I had a picture in my head about how my life would be when I grew up. Now I was raised in a pretty strict Christian household. So when I was a young teenager I figured that by the time I was 20 I would sort of have it all figured out. {probably married!} I made assumptions based on the lives around me, having absolutely no idea how much work and effort it actually took those people to get to where they were.

When I was 10 I was certain that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up - my mom was a teacher and my brother was studying to be a teacher and I would have bet my life on the solidity of my plan. Fast forward just 5 years and high school was presenting me with a myriad of options. Suddenly my very incredibly solid plan didn't seem so valid anymore. Fast forward another 5 years and we're at today. I am 20 years old and I still have not pursued a post-secondary education because I still can't decide what I want to do with my life. In the mean time I have tried retail work, cooking, door to door sales, and residential cleaning. I can't even tell you how many careers I have considered, but my best friend could testify to the ever changing big plan for my life. And for nearly a year every time I came up with a new plan I would say 'this is it. I'm not going to change my mind again; this is actually going to happen!' and then two weeks or a month later Lyss would ask me about my plan and I would shrink back in my chair and go 'yeah, about that...' and I would shuffle back to square one with a sigh.

This morning I quit my job because after five long months I decided I couldn't handle the pressure and recurring rejection of door to door sales. The last three days I have had 5 interviews, and been offered three different jobs, so I'll be okay. I've realized that in this day and age no one stays at the same job for nearly as long as our parents did. Most of us have parents that have had the exact same career for their entire life, and maybe now they are starting to retire and move on to other things. But I am only twenty and my resume is two pages long for only the past 3 years, and I've never been fired from a job. Maybe it's just me {I get restless a lot!} but I don't think I've ever stayed in the same job for more than 6 months. It's something I need to work on. But it's also a reminder to myself that if I do decide to pursue a post secondary education it doesn't necessarily have to decide the rest of my life for me - it could just decide the next five years, and I could choose something else from there. I think when it comes down to it, I shy away from making the decision because I build it up too much. Oh, and the part where tuition money doesn't just drop from the sky.

I want everyone out there to know two things tonight. First of all, it's great to set goals, and achieve them! And secondly, it's also okay if you don't achieve those goals, or you change your mind. I think that there's too much of a stigma around career choices, and having everything figured out by a certain age. Believe me when I say that at least 70% of the people you see everyday that seem to have it all figured out, don't. We've become so adept at pretending to have everything under control that I think we forget that at the end of the day we're all just human. We're all just trying to make it; whether it be through the day, the week, the month - whatever it is, we're all just trying to make it. And I don't think it would be a gamble to say that most of us have secret demons, secret battles, secret secrets, that we deal with every single day.

So on this first day of a brand new, beautiful fall month, I ask just one thing from you. Look around you, and choose someone to talk to. It doesn't have to be a conversation about their entire life story, but you never know, it could lead to that! Just care a little bit for a fellow globe trotter, whether it be someone in your workplace that has seemed a bit distracted lately, a friend that has drifted silently away, a family member that doesn't come out of their shell much, or even the person you sit beside on the bus one day. Ask them how they're doing, and care deeper than the automatic, surface response of 'Good! How about you?'. I promise you it will make a difference, even if it seems small in the grand scheme of things, it will seem huge in their world. They'll look back on their day and think to themselves that there's still hope for tomorrow because there are still people that care.

Oct 5, 2013

Of Yearnings for Embetterment

People say I am giving, self-sacrificial, have a good heart, etc, etc.
Who is to say that I am? To what standard am I being held to?
And why do I feel so unworthy of such praise?
How is it that a minuscule amount of time spent helping others can somehow combat the vast amount of time spent on myself?
I wish so much to dedicate my life to helping others. It doesn't matter in which way, shape or form I do so. I just wish I could help. No matter how much of my life I spend doing so, it will never be enough. How can I even begin to combat the amount of malicious people in the world with my small contribution of hope and happiness? And how can I, a mere sinner, ever bring people to see the only true happiness in life; Jesus Christ and His saving grace?
As I sit, on a leather couch with beautiful music in my ears, how am I helping the world become a better place? I'm not! Yet I sit. Yet so many others sit. What happened to 'being the change you wish to see in the world'?
My challenge to you this coming week; Take a moment out of your day to ask someone how they are, how they really are, and when they respond, actually care about what they say. Sometimes a listening ear is a life saver. You never know what mask your fellow globe trotters are wearing!

Dec 25, 2012

Our Broken World


Our Broken World
Have you ever wondered about it,
The broken world out there?
Occupants rush through their days
With smiles plastered on their faces
Trying their best to ignore
The pain which threatens their smiles to break
The surface so pretty and bright
Hides a much darker fight
A murderer lurks about
And soon many mourn no doubt
From haunting dreams people awake
And through their hair their fingers rake
For get up and at it they must
Forgetting all ill like old dust
or so it would seem on the surface
but it is only a very pretty terrace
which hides a melancholy house
running around a wheel like a mouse
so the surface seems calm as a lake
how every soul doth break
everybody has experienced some deep sadness
we simply must realize we’re not the only ones
and stop being so selfish in our thoughts
more than one pity party happens each moment

all rights reserved. written by Heather Van Manen 

Nov 2, 2012

Food for Thought


The other day I was uttering a quick prayer and I said to God, “Do what You think is best”
And it just got me to thinking, I know it’s a phrase, a way of us giving the matter up to God, but honestly how do we think we could ever sway God in His pre-determined plans? And I know there are all sorts of people who believe so much in the power of prayer, and I would count myself as one of them, but do we really have any weight at all? I mean, if everything that happens really is predetermined from the beginning of time, then why do we still think we have free will? Why do we, tinier than specs of dust in God’s eyes, think that we are so important and what’s going on in our lives and our world is so important when in comparison with eternity, what does it even matter? I’m not saying we should all become bums and live on the streets and do absolutely nothing, but I do think we should honestly and truthfully look at our priorities in life and ask ourselves to what greater end these priorities lead us.
Now I’m not saying that we should become extremists, I’m simply saying that maybe we should be a little bit more prudent in our daily decisions. And don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way trying to preach at you, because if I were you could tell me to practice what I preach before telling other people to do it as well, I’m merely suggesting that perhaps we should think about it.
That’s all…
Goodnight!
Heather 

Oct 17, 2012

A Laugh a Day Keeps the Boredom Away

So I'm at Wal-Mart buying a bag of Purina dog food for my dog. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Now that you've read this I have to confess, I copied it. Now copy and share make someone else laugh :D

Sep 17, 2012

And So Life Continues


Hello All!
So, I have been down south for nearly two weeks now, and surprise of surprises, I love it! The Groens are great people, and I feel like I fit into their family very well… even though I do still feel rather invasive at times… School is going well, I had my first math test on the first unit on Friday, and I found out today that I got the top mark in the class! Woot! Very exciting. I am taking Religion, Math, Tech, Biology and Phys Ed and so far I’m enjoying all of the courses.  I did end up getting a cell phone, so I now have an expensive new addiction, but it’s kinda nice.
This past weekend was great, I went shopping with a few girls Friday night and then we met up with some guys at McDonalds afterwards and chilled for a bit, then Saturday I went to Canada’s Wonderland with a bunch of friends and had an absolute blast. On the way back we got stuck in a traffic jam, so I opened my window and asked all the people how their day was going… I heard a couple life stories and hopefully made a few peoples day J Then we all went out for supper at Boston Pizza and went our separate ways full of food and good memories. Sunday I read a book on the balcony and got a bit of a tan for the winter. It was a relaxing and beautiful day.
Anyways, I should go do all the things I should be doing… basketball tryouts tomorrow!
Have a great night!
Heather

Sep 3, 2012

It's really happening!


On Monday I leave my home and travel to a new home for the winter. I’m nervous, I’m excited, I have no idea what to expect. It doesn’t feel real yet… even though Monday is tomorrow already. I still have to finish packing… I sent two suitcases down this past week so now it’s just the last minute stuff. I feel like I’m forgetting everything, but at the same time that I have way too much. I feel completely un-organized. And I feel very detached… as though I was watching myself, watching it all happen but not being affected by it. But I am. Perhaps I’m trying to feel detached so I don’t feel anything.

Yesterday was my last day of work at the chipstand. It was strange. I closed and went home. We had a campfire and Shirley mentioned how it was my second last night here. It registered, but it didn’t really, you know? Then this morning I woke up at eight and mentally counted the hours till I had to go to work but then remembered that I was done work, and today was Sunday. A few minutes later mom came to my room to tell me breakfast would be ready soon.

I’m in a melancholy state of mind… there are so many ‘last times’ happening. I will be happy though. Am I not the girl who always has a smile on her face? I need some sad music right now. And a hot cup of tea. 

Aug 27, 2012

Supper :)

tonight I made sweet chili pork tenderloin stir fry and bruschetta bread... it was delicious!